I am going to preface the following with this statement:  During my last manic episode my brother is law pulled my arse out of the fire and for that I do owe him a debt.  I hope that one day that I can repay that debt.

My brother in law is a big mouthed arsehole and drunken idiot that does not know when to keep his mouth shut.  He is laughable as a father and even funnier as a businessman. He is a narcissistic jerk that is so wrapped up in his own delusions of himself he cannot remind my nieces to brush their teeth at night.  How is that for being a father?

How about shutting your mouth?  Try being a father and paying your debts.

For whatever reason, I intimidate him.  I do not believe this to be physical intimidation, but mental.  He is unable to speak his mind in any way, so he tries it verbally and with his limited vocabulary it is quite amusing.  Let me be honest, he is dumb.  I don't mean ignorant of things, but just plain old dumb.  Fortunately I am the opposite of dumb.  I read books, I am educated and I can speak and write with proper grammar (although granted, in this blog it is not a memoir, just my ramblings).  Why is it that he sees me as any kind of threat, because I don't watch Nascar and I am not into boats and big trucks and other things that have put in him so far in debt that he is royally buggered?  He has managed to take his father's business, that his father made successful over 30 years of back breaking work, and run it into the toilet in less that 5 years.

If he wants to judge me, fine.  No skin off my nose.  What he should try doing is READING A BOOK about what we with BPD go through!  Hell, read a Wikipedia entry if an entire book is too difficult to get through! The best part of this is, is that the people he vomits his words upon are as uneducated as he is...and most are in the same boat (that statement does not pertain to my family or my in-law's, only him and his merry band of retards).


Maybe I should start running my mouth about his learning disability? Maybe I should run my mouth about how bad of a fathers he is or the debt he is drowning in, but I won't.  I would not stoop to his level.


His wife is almost as bad.  She is fake, fake, fake.  As i have said before, if you don't like me, I am fine with that.....but DO NOT BE FAKE TO MY FACE!

Essentially he is Cousin Eddie from the Vacation movies without the lovable goof ball tendencies.

In the beginning for this post I said that I hope that I can repay the debt I owe him one day.  Do you know why?  Because at that point, I am done.  Completely done.  I will no longer care about what happens to him.  If I never see him again, it will not bother me.  I will not say I hate him.  Hate is a strong word.  I just don't care about him in any way, shape or form.

I admit my mistakes.  I seek help three times a week for my problems.

Maybe he should do the same and stop living in denial that life is one big party, that he is not an alcoholic and what you did in HS football matters in life.

That feels better, like draining an infected carbuncle off of your arse!  I have released the poison into the ether and no longer can control me in anyway way.